Lhunpaurwen's Ramblings

Chakotay has been adopted! A friend of a friend ( who is now my friend too! ) adopted him. They met and he immediately opened up to her and snugglefest ensued! He knew what he wanted. They are the perfect match for each other. :) Huge, huge thank you to everyone who shared his story and expressed interest in him, and for everyone who has offered their prayers and best wishes through all of this. Gonna miss my dorky fluffball so much. But happy knowing he will make my new friend just as happy as he made me.

EDIT: Update On Hope Cat: Great news! Radiology came back clean!! No broken bones. Just really deep punctures. The inflammation is pretty bad and there is some infection, so she has been started on antibiotics. Once that reduces the swelling and everything they will assess if there is any neurological damage. She will be FeLV/FIV tested and put up for adoption. Thank you so much to everyone for sharing her story, for your donations, your prays and positive thoughts for her! Since no major surgery was needed afterall, I will be refunding donations and taking down the emergency fundraiser. Thank you again! --------------------- Writing this exhausted and half asleep to get word out ASAP. I got involved with a cat rescue where cat ended up having badly broken leg and was in shock but injury is old come to find out but she was clearly in pain and distress and no use of leg. So I took her to SPCA clinic and they directed me to the shelter portion for a program they have doing 3 day holds to try and find owner and vet/stabilize cat. But she probably needs amputation. I set up a GoFundMe and will spread it like wildfire to hope we can raise the money to help her because the SPCA program might not have funds and if they deem her not adoptable they would otherwise euthanize her, even if she would be adoptable after the surgery and recovery.

Utterly disgusted. Hate begets hate. This many people should not feel ashamed or afraid of who was elected. It disgusts me that this is the type of country we live in now after all the progress we had made. Afraid for my rights as a person with medical disabilities who is not able to work. Afraid for my rights as a woman. Afraid of losing my healthcare and women's health rights. Afraid for the rights of all my friends and family in the LGBT community. This country has been needing a healthy dose of chlorine bleach for a long time, but this isn't how I hoped we'd be getting it. I seriously hope the balances and checks that are in place in the government will keep him in check and make the damage less severe than it could be if he could do whatever he wanted. I pray he won't be as horrible as all of us ( Americans and people all over the world ) fear he will be. I hope he proves us wrong.

Changes to Patreon reward tiers and stretch goals have been completed. The most exciting change includes the following: Patrons pledging $5 and above will be granted the right to vote in different situations that will directly influence things I make and how I make them, or what supplies I buy using the money you all have invested in me. Should I buy this glaze or that glaze? Should I use this stone or that stone? What creature do I sculpt next? You decide! ============================================= I changed the stretch goals to give more clear direction. The original goals I used and their amounts were somewhat vague and spaced out since I wasn't sure how to best approach it when I first joined Patreon. I hope this is a better format. Suggestions are welcome. $25 ( We are ALMOST here!! $19 out of $25!! ) This amount allows me to continue purchasing basic creative supplies monthly to experiment with. It could be spent to buy several lower cost items or one higher cost item. Examples include but are not limited to: jewelry supplies, painting mediums, several small bottles of ceramics glaze, a larger bottle of ceramics glaze, a box of ceramics clay, ceramics tools You get to help me choose what to invest in if you pledge $5 or more. Once we reach this goal, I will raffle off an art original equal to $25. ALL pledge tiers will be eligible to win (as low as $1 pledge ) ! Winner will pay shipping for raffle item. $50 The higher the pledge amount coming in, the more supplies I can get and the faster I can get them. This goal amount will allow me to invest in supplies as mentioned above to offer a wider variety. It would allow me to branch out into materials and supplies that are more expensive, such as special carved gemstones, silver, raku supplies, and more. You get to help me choose what to invest in if you pledge $5 or more. Once we reach this goal, I will raffle off an art original equal to $50. ALL pledge tiers will be eligible to win (as low as $1 pledge ) ! Winner will pay shipping for raffle item. $75 Meeting this goal would allow me to greatly expand on my production. The main thing that keeps me from jumping into certain projects is lack of disposable income to acquire all the supplies I might need for a project. If I only have $30 to spend per month, but the total cost for supplies for a project is $60, it could take two months just to get everything I need. It might take longer if I have to split the amount between multiple projects. The more you can pledge, the more I can create and give back. You get to help me choose what to invest in if you pledge $5 or more. Once we reach this goal, I will raffle off an art original equal to $75. ALL pledge tiers will be eligible to win (as low as $1 pledge ) ! Winner will pay shipping for raffle item. ============================================= ============================================= Thanks for your support!

My health and the technology gods permitting, I will be art streaming this Friday Nov 4th around 8pm CST. Hope to see you there! http://original.livestream.com/leopardwolf

TLDR: Chakotay's service training had more setbacks. Questioning how much longer to keep trying to make him something he simply might not be. ---------- I met mom in Slidell yesterday to go shopping for some new clothing, since all mine are about to fall apart. Decided to try taking both Ember and Chakotay with us. Chakotay was...... ehh. He was still way too weary even with Ember around and he was leery of different people, especially if they got too close. Some store clerks were moving a clothing rack and he saw it from some 300ft away and suddenly put on the breaks, causing me and Ember to whiplash into him. When I realized what had him concerned, I walked him to it and asked the guys if they would roll it toward us and I went over and pet it to show him it was okay. He tolerated it ( he didn't have a choice since he was on leash ) but he was not comfortable with it. Ember on the other hand was all happy wiggly and wanted to nudge the rack when I pet it, as a target behavior. She did that because she was hoping I would let her say hello to the two clerks as a reward. Chakotay's body language for the few hours we were out just said he was not enjoying any of it. We stopped for food and Chakotay didn't want to stay settled under the table, even though there was plenty of room for both him and Ember. He would lay down and then sit back up a few moments later, much like the restlessness during store training exercises at Petsmart and Petco. The longer we are out, I have noticed he will get more restless and nudge me to let me know he is uncomfortable and wants to leave. He did this in the department store even with Ember present. Any time we moved back in the direction of the store entrance he wanted to pull to hurry us on our way faster, same as he does in the pet friendly stores when he has had enough. Mom saw some of it, but I don't think she understood what she was seeing ( she knows some stuff she learned from me, but doesn't know how to read a dog as well ) or really realized how bad it was till we were close to getting ready to leave the restaurant. Mom had to get up and leave the table a few times, and her and I both had to keep repositioning our legs to stay comfortable. Any time Chakotay remotely thought either of us was getting up to leave, he was getting up to try and move from under the table. This is something I worked on a lot with Ember and Journey, and now with Chakotay. Holding a stay position, waiting patiently and quietly. He is great with it at home, and he was great with it as a puppy up until the fear period started. We even practiced under tables and other objects similar to how I trained him to wait for a release command from his kennel when I open it. He understands the cue and what I want him to do and in the past didn't have problems with it. Anyway, we were getting ready to leave and I gave a clear verbal stay command with the hand signal and indicated to mom to go ahead and get up ( Chakotay could not see me tell her ) while at the same time I again gave the stay commands to the dogs as she was moving to stand and I was swinging my legs out so I could get myself into position to let the dogs come out and get on my feet. Ember didn't flinch, waiting for me to release her. Chakotay on the other hand suddenly acted like he was on fire and came barreling out from under the table, trampling Ember who was at the open end of the table ( I sat him by the wall on purpose to control his movement )......and slammed right into my legs and through them. I don't know what hurt more. Chakotay hitting them or the impact causing them to slam against the pole and underside of the table. It was very unpleasant. I was biting back pain, embarrassed because of his behavior startling people across from us ( who I apologized to ), with Ember and mom both checking with me to make sure I was okay because they knew I had been hurt by it. I was holding Chakotay by the collar at that point to make him stay in place while I let Ember out and tried to get up. The whole time he was yancy and clearly ready to GTFO. Mind you nothing at all bad had happened all day. He didn't have to go relieve himself because I made sure to let them both do so before we went into the place to be safe. He simply had enough for the day and wanted to go back to the car because he knows eventually we will go "home" in it and he doesn't have to be out in public anymore. Mom couldn't believe he'd done that. She's never seen any of my dogs behave that way, mostly because they all know better. Sure sometimes they jump the gun if they get excited, but a quick reminder would set them right again. Even as big of a clumsy dork as Journey could be, he never behaved that way, even when closer to the end of his short career he was clearly not wanting to work because he was in pain. He was grumbly and somewhat impatient but he never plowed through me in his desire to leave a place. I was hoping having Ember around would help Chakotay more than it did, especially in the non-pet places we go for public access training. The more I evaluate him and watch his behavior in public with our short training sessions, and go back and look at video I take, I'm just not so sure he will grow out of this; it has been going on since August without improvement. Him finally interacting with the handful of people that one day in Petsmart was only because I let Ember spazz and say hello to people to try and make it a happy fun thing and missing out on the excitement was enough to overcome any concern he had about the situation. I can't do that every single place we go with every single person or thing we come across that he might be uncomfortable with. I also can't take both him and Ember together every single time. It takes a lot of energy to safely handle and direct one, let alone two large dogs in coordinated movement. Especially when one is a strong puppy who clearly doesn't want to be out in the first place. I just don't always have the physical ability to do it. While Ember's presence seems like it might be enough of a distraction to boost his confidence some, I can't say if it will change enough for him to grow out of this phase completely. I also have some concern about him somehow becoming dependent on her presence as being the only way he feels confident enough in public. I can't help but somehow feel like a failure all over again. I haven't done anything vastly different with Chakotay than I did with raising Journey, that may have inadvertently caused the behavior shift. After this most recent outing, I'm not sure what to do anymore. We are so far behind on training skills, mostly because the primary training and reward systems we use at home won't work in public ( he currently won't take food rewards or toy rewards in public ). I have tried relaxation protocol and methods to get him to relax and focus on me, with no luck. I am in essence forcing him into situations he is not comfortable with simply by the action of taking him out in public anywhere. Even places he has gone to since he was a tiny puppy and previously been happy to visit. But if I don't take him, he won't get the exposure or continued socializing he needs. Which even if he washes out as a service dog, he should still have these skills and experiences to be a balanced pet dog. How long do I keep trying? If he was a program trained dog, he probably would have already been washed and career changed because it would be a risk to the handler and dog both. He already has a problem with being exposed to common every day stressful situations that a service dog is required to face, and it is pretty unlikely to change. So rather than invest time and money into trying to overcome that and train past it and hope it works, they cut the dog loose and move on. I just hate the reality of having to look at it that way, because he is obviously more than just an object to me. I have become so much more attached to Chakotay in a shorter time than I was with Journey. My heart wants more than anything to make it work because I love him and I have bonded with him and invested so much into him already. But my gut instinct tells me it just isn't meant to be. If I was to evaluate him from a neutral standpoint like I would any client's dog, it is painfully obvious from that perspective he isn't a good fit as it currently stands. So then what do I do? Finding a good home for him is going to be so much more difficult. He'd need someone that was not only familiar with GSD, but someone who is familiar with working with a dog that might live the rest of their lives on the high strung side. Then what? Search for another puppy or a young adult dog and try again? Maybe a Rottweiler instead? They are larger, which is what I need. Or do I try and find a Labrador, Golden Retriever, or a mix of those breeds and hope it will be big enough? On average most only get around 75lbs on the larger side. A Rottie will easily top out at 120lbs or more. Going through any reputable breeder who actually OFA HD/ED checks their dogs and does temperament testing and goes by health standards, I am looking at $1k plus easily (unless I can find someone willing to work a price for me for the dog being a service dog, which is less likely for pedigree working dogs). I always encourage rescue over buying, but as I have discussed in the past, with needing something so specific for a working dog career, it is hard to find a dog that can live up to the standards health and behavior wise from the shelter ( especially with high rate of heartworm positive dogs here in Louisiana ) or hobby breeders. Maybe I could try fostering for local rescues to see if I could find a potential candidate. It could help save a life by simply being a temporary home if the dog wasn't the right fit, with no long term commitment to keep the dog if it didn't work out for whatever reason. Otherwise the only choice is just keep waiting and applying for a program dog, and hope nothing happens to Ember before I get accepted and paired with a successor dog. Then I have to hope either the dog is offered free of charge, or that I can somehow come up with the money to travel wherever I need to go and to cover the cost of the dog ( which is likely $5k to $7k easily with travel, hotel, food, aid to come with me, etc. ). The money from the service dog fund is completely gone now, used on expenses for Ember and Chakotay. The service dog fundraiser hasn't seen any activity despite me sharing and asking for help and even offering artwork commissions and things in exchange for it, because I hate having to ask for help and not being able to offer something in return. The whole situation has been very difficult and trying. Chakotay is a great dog. I'm just not sure he will ever be comfortable enough to work in public.

Got so many books from the library, their weight set off the front passenger side "no seat belt" alarm in my car.

By any chance does anyone have $115 to spare before the 15th? There is a dog training seminar that day that I really need to try and attend. It's to help Chakotay ( service dog in training ) try and overcome this fear period. The presenter is Debbie Jacobs, CPDT-KA, CAP2 and is specifically geared toward working with fearful and anxious dogs. It will be invaluable for me to be able to attend and likely have the chance to speak with her and others directly. Not only that, but word is a field trainer from one of the big service dog organizations is also attending. Again, a chance to talk to these people directly about Chakotay's problems is something I hate to pass up just because I don't have the money for it right now. I am taking commissions in exchange to make it happen. Animal art, anthro art, jewelry, sculptures, ceramics, all the art things can be yours!

http://leopardwolf.deviantart.com

Well, seems like I got my wish for cooler weather. But along with the sudden change came a flareup of astronomical proportions. Everything is ANGRY. Migraine triggers with aura and halos, ocular distortion and blurred vision. I moved wrong and my lower back and hips aggroed and went out aaaand the icing on it all, my De Quervain's Tenosynovitis has flared up so bad I will probably need to get another corticosteroid injection. But at least it's a little cooler out. It's nice. But it would be nicer if my body didn't behave like it was the end of the world every time the weather changes. Trying to be extra careful about how I move, but I refuse to let it slow me down again after I was just starting to recover from the last flare. Lots of Gaba and pain creams all over. I shall smell of menthol! Excuse me while I go electrocute myself with my TENS.

Busy busy busy this month. Working on ceramics and other art. We recently had a surprise party to celebrate my Grandma's 90th birthday. The whole family and Grandma's friends got together to celebrate. It was nice seeing so many people I have known since childhood. Lots of laughs and smiles were had.

After that we had a roofer out doing repairs and rebuilding the back deck's roof. Needless to say with all the construction sounds starting early AM I got no sleep, on top of getting no sleep because I have been sick. So I ended up even sicker and ran out of Gaba before insurance would cover the refill. Never fails that I always get really sick during the hottest of the summer.

Despite that, I was able to finally get a glaze load fired. I was trying to wait for the weather to cool off a little before I did, but that's not going to happen around here anytime soon. Just going to keep running the loads I have and vent with fans, try to time the hottest part for evening and early AM when it is a little cooler out. A small piece I made for my aunt's birthday came out perfect. I'll be sharing it and others on Patreon and eventually on DA and LWD page.

Nothing much has changed with Chakotay. Taking things slow and staying home. He barked at the roof repair guy when we tried a casual introduction, but at least he was okay after he got used to the noise of the repair work and realized it was not a bad thing. He curiously sniffed at all the tools and supplies and willingly investigated things he was unsure of after I touched them and showed him they were safe. Will be so happy when he gets past this phase and I get my confident puppy back.