Lhunpaurwen's Ramblings

In Boxes So busy. Driving back and forth to Texas, trying to find the energies and lack of pain to sort and pack up more things. Helped Mike get settled in to the new place. Things didn't go the way we originally planned; when do they ever? Lack of Uhaul Northeast side meant all of our belongings and furniture that was at his grandmother's ended up having to stay there. Which meant he only came with what he could cram and Tetris into his car, most of that room being taken up by his work computers and chair and work necessities, and a handful of other stuff he could jam in. So once again we started with nothing and had to get new furniture and things, with the hope his family will go and take pictures of the stuff we left and sell it so we can get some money back for it, but the likelihood of that happening anytime soon is slim. Lots of stress, the move almost not happening because Mike's pay drops so drastically from the supposed "cost of living" difference. Which is horrible that companies can do it and base it however the hell they base it off local rent costs or whatever, because when you base it off a city that has reduced prices because of the nearby military base then of course that might be cheaper - only if you live on the base and have access to the reduced base prices. But the rent isn't. And milk and other things still cost as much when you are on civilian side. It's disgusting that by relocating to get closer to work, it basically set him back to his beginning pay rate, removing 3yrs or so worth of raises and a promotion to a higher position. But job opportunities and affordability long term is better, so it was worth doing. It just means things are going to be insanely tight for a while. Crafty Things I have all sorts of things going on and in the process of being completed art and creativity wise and with related efforts. The ceramic rattles are completed, but they were one of the first things I moved via car to ensure they wouldn't be damaged. I will get pictures of them next trip and get them posted online for sale, though I might ask Mike to take a few teaser shots of them I will share via Patreon for anyone interested in catching them before they are released to the general public. Most of my art supplies are going to be packed away until they can be relocated, but I will try to keep out some basic things like a sketchbook, my Wacom for digital, and maybe a few other odds or ends. All of my corals are doing well. I have finally grown some out enough to where I can frag them, and plan to have those frags up for sale when I do. Moving the tank and its inhabitants is going to be all sorts of insanity, but I already have it planned out and hope to document the process and share it later. I have been prepping plants for bonsai and doing my annual collection of flowers for drying. The Sweet Olive and Gardenia smell so wonderful. I have a few ceramics items that are glazed but not yet fired, so I really need to run the kiln and fire them before they get packed for travel. Making of new items is on hold for the moment. Dogs Ember stayed with Mike so I could focus more on working with Tesla individually, similar to how I did back with Journey. Training has been a little slow going with all of the other crazyness going around, and my body having an absolute fit. My ankle has been messed up over a month now, making it painful and hard to walk. Poor Ember was getting to a point where I was having to give her more medicine when she was more active going places with me, and it was clearly effecting her behavior and her ability to alert accurately, to where I decided it was in her best interest not to work her anymore. As a DDR line descendant GSD, Tesla is a very high drive dog, and far more challenging to work with. I'm still not completely certain he has the correct behavior for assistance dog work. He'd be excellent for Schutzhund and IPO activities without a doubt. In fact, I have been in contact with a local Schutzhund club and we went out this weekend to meet some of them and see them work their dogs. Tesla even got to become acquainted with some nosework for tracking. Tesla is insanely strong for his size, and he has a beautiful bite and grip when engaged in play. It's just honing in the focus and building the self control over those instincts, and helping build his "on/off" switch that might prove to be an issue. He is a puppy though, so I am hoping I can shape it and use that drive to our advantage, in a controlled fashion that will make him the best working dog he can be. Going back to the topic of size, that is really the only other concern I have with Tesla. I am not sure if he will be big enough. His growing rate is more closely resembling Chakotay's, which was on the smaller side for a male Shepherd. Journey was huge by this age, but he also had obvious physical issues as a result despite my best efforts to do everything right to ensure physical soundness. You just can't beat genetics. Still, at 4 months old ( going on 5 ), I feel like even Chakotay was larger by this point. But it could just be that I am so worried about if Tesla will work out or not after Journey and Chakotay washing out, that my mind is playing tricks on me. We went in for Tesla's last round of puppy shots/ rabies vaccine. I discussed it with the vet. With his current rate of growth, unless he hits a huge growth spurt, she isn't sure he will be more than 60lbs. He is a very strong little dog, even now. But I need the size. He needs to be tall enough for full mobility assist and have a sound structure for the weight bearing support work and counter balancing. Once again I am not sure how this will play out. If he ends up being too small, I might not be able to use him, even if he is physically sound otherwise. Ideally a person my size should have a dog no less than 80lbs, preferably 100lbs+ for the mobility assist I require. With Ember, I fudged a lot and always used an additional surface/wall/furniture/whatever so I didn't hurt her. Now I am to the point where I can't do that anymore, even if Ember was still young and workable, my body just can't tolerate as much as it used to. I need a larger dog. I am really hoping Tesla will be that dog.

Ember and I went to an appointment with a new doctor the other day. When we walked into the room, we found this anatomy model, who looked like it had seen better days. The femur bone there was broken in half, taped together with duct tape to make it whole again. After the doctor comes in and we introduce ourselves, I gesture to the model and say "I hope you don't plan on fixing me like you fixed him". The doctor grins and replies "Duct tape really *can* fix anything!" He's a keeper.

TLDR: Chakotay's service training had more setbacks. Questioning how much longer to keep trying to make him something he simply might not be. ---------- I met mom in Slidell yesterday to go shopping for some new clothing, since all mine are about to fall apart. Decided to try taking both Ember and Chakotay with us. Chakotay was...... ehh. He was still way too weary even with Ember around and he was leery of different people, especially if they got too close. Some store clerks were moving a clothing rack and he saw it from some 300ft away and suddenly put on the breaks, causing me and Ember to whiplash into him. When I realized what had him concerned, I walked him to it and asked the guys if they would roll it toward us and I went over and pet it to show him it was okay. He tolerated it ( he didn't have a choice since he was on leash ) but he was not comfortable with it. Ember on the other hand was all happy wiggly and wanted to nudge the rack when I pet it, as a target behavior. She did that because she was hoping I would let her say hello to the two clerks as a reward. Chakotay's body language for the few hours we were out just said he was not enjoying any of it. We stopped for food and Chakotay didn't want to stay settled under the table, even though there was plenty of room for both him and Ember. He would lay down and then sit back up a few moments later, much like the restlessness during store training exercises at Petsmart and Petco. The longer we are out, I have noticed he will get more restless and nudge me to let me know he is uncomfortable and wants to leave. He did this in the department store even with Ember present. Any time we moved back in the direction of the store entrance he wanted to pull to hurry us on our way faster, same as he does in the pet friendly stores when he has had enough. Mom saw some of it, but I don't think she understood what she was seeing ( she knows some stuff she learned from me, but doesn't know how to read a dog as well ) or really realized how bad it was till we were close to getting ready to leave the restaurant. Mom had to get up and leave the table a few times, and her and I both had to keep repositioning our legs to stay comfortable. Any time Chakotay remotely thought either of us was getting up to leave, he was getting up to try and move from under the table. This is something I worked on a lot with Ember and Journey, and now with Chakotay. Holding a stay position, waiting patiently and quietly. He is great with it at home, and he was great with it as a puppy up until the fear period started. We even practiced under tables and other objects similar to how I trained him to wait for a release command from his kennel when I open it. He understands the cue and what I want him to do and in the past didn't have problems with it. Anyway, we were getting ready to leave and I gave a clear verbal stay command with the hand signal and indicated to mom to go ahead and get up ( Chakotay could not see me tell her ) while at the same time I again gave the stay commands to the dogs as she was moving to stand and I was swinging my legs out so I could get myself into position to let the dogs come out and get on my feet. Ember didn't flinch, waiting for me to release her. Chakotay on the other hand suddenly acted like he was on fire and came barreling out from under the table, trampling Ember who was at the open end of the table ( I sat him by the wall on purpose to control his movement )......and slammed right into my legs and through them. I don't know what hurt more. Chakotay hitting them or the impact causing them to slam against the pole and underside of the table. It was very unpleasant. I was biting back pain, embarrassed because of his behavior startling people across from us ( who I apologized to ), with Ember and mom both checking with me to make sure I was okay because they knew I had been hurt by it. I was holding Chakotay by the collar at that point to make him stay in place while I let Ember out and tried to get up. The whole time he was yancy and clearly ready to GTFO. Mind you nothing at all bad had happened all day. He didn't have to go relieve himself because I made sure to let them both do so before we went into the place to be safe. He simply had enough for the day and wanted to go back to the car because he knows eventually we will go "home" in it and he doesn't have to be out in public anymore. Mom couldn't believe he'd done that. She's never seen any of my dogs behave that way, mostly because they all know better. Sure sometimes they jump the gun if they get excited, but a quick reminder would set them right again. Even as big of a clumsy dork as Journey could be, he never behaved that way, even when closer to the end of his short career he was clearly not wanting to work because he was in pain. He was grumbly and somewhat impatient but he never plowed through me in his desire to leave a place. I was hoping having Ember around would help Chakotay more than it did, especially in the non-pet places we go for public access training. The more I evaluate him and watch his behavior in public with our short training sessions, and go back and look at video I take, I'm just not so sure he will grow out of this; it has been going on since August without improvement. Him finally interacting with the handful of people that one day in Petsmart was only because I let Ember spazz and say hello to people to try and make it a happy fun thing and missing out on the excitement was enough to overcome any concern he had about the situation. I can't do that every single place we go with every single person or thing we come across that he might be uncomfortable with. I also can't take both him and Ember together every single time. It takes a lot of energy to safely handle and direct one, let alone two large dogs in coordinated movement. Especially when one is a strong puppy who clearly doesn't want to be out in the first place. I just don't always have the physical ability to do it. While Ember's presence seems like it might be enough of a distraction to boost his confidence some, I can't say if it will change enough for him to grow out of this phase completely. I also have some concern about him somehow becoming dependent on her presence as being the only way he feels confident enough in public. I can't help but somehow feel like a failure all over again. I haven't done anything vastly different with Chakotay than I did with raising Journey, that may have inadvertently caused the behavior shift. After this most recent outing, I'm not sure what to do anymore. We are so far behind on training skills, mostly because the primary training and reward systems we use at home won't work in public ( he currently won't take food rewards or toy rewards in public ). I have tried relaxation protocol and methods to get him to relax and focus on me, with no luck. I am in essence forcing him into situations he is not comfortable with simply by the action of taking him out in public anywhere. Even places he has gone to since he was a tiny puppy and previously been happy to visit. But if I don't take him, he won't get the exposure or continued socializing he needs. Which even if he washes out as a service dog, he should still have these skills and experiences to be a balanced pet dog. How long do I keep trying? If he was a program trained dog, he probably would have already been washed and career changed because it would be a risk to the handler and dog both. He already has a problem with being exposed to common every day stressful situations that a service dog is required to face, and it is pretty unlikely to change. So rather than invest time and money into trying to overcome that and train past it and hope it works, they cut the dog loose and move on. I just hate the reality of having to look at it that way, because he is obviously more than just an object to me. I have become so much more attached to Chakotay in a shorter time than I was with Journey. My heart wants more than anything to make it work because I love him and I have bonded with him and invested so much into him already. But my gut instinct tells me it just isn't meant to be. If I was to evaluate him from a neutral standpoint like I would any client's dog, it is painfully obvious from that perspective he isn't a good fit as it currently stands. So then what do I do? Finding a good home for him is going to be so much more difficult. He'd need someone that was not only familiar with GSD, but someone who is familiar with working with a dog that might live the rest of their lives on the high strung side. Then what? Search for another puppy or a young adult dog and try again? Maybe a Rottweiler instead? They are larger, which is what I need. Or do I try and find a Labrador, Golden Retriever, or a mix of those breeds and hope it will be big enough? On average most only get around 75lbs on the larger side. A Rottie will easily top out at 120lbs or more. Going through any reputable breeder who actually OFA HD/ED checks their dogs and does temperament testing and goes by health standards, I am looking at $1k plus easily (unless I can find someone willing to work a price for me for the dog being a service dog, which is less likely for pedigree working dogs). I always encourage rescue over buying, but as I have discussed in the past, with needing something so specific for a working dog career, it is hard to find a dog that can live up to the standards health and behavior wise from the shelter ( especially with high rate of heartworm positive dogs here in Louisiana ) or hobby breeders. Maybe I could try fostering for local rescues to see if I could find a potential candidate. It could help save a life by simply being a temporary home if the dog wasn't the right fit, with no long term commitment to keep the dog if it didn't work out for whatever reason. Otherwise the only choice is just keep waiting and applying for a program dog, and hope nothing happens to Ember before I get accepted and paired with a successor dog. Then I have to hope either the dog is offered free of charge, or that I can somehow come up with the money to travel wherever I need to go and to cover the cost of the dog ( which is likely $5k to $7k easily with travel, hotel, food, aid to come with me, etc. ). The money from the service dog fund is completely gone now, used on expenses for Ember and Chakotay. The service dog fundraiser hasn't seen any activity despite me sharing and asking for help and even offering artwork commissions and things in exchange for it, because I hate having to ask for help and not being able to offer something in return. The whole situation has been very difficult and trying. Chakotay is a great dog. I'm just not sure he will ever be comfortable enough to work in public.

Good Sits, Downs, Leave Its, Waits

Working on Stay, Focus and Duration

Multiple Outings To Pet Friendly Stores ( in short time I have had him )

Met 100 New People Before 10 Weeks Old ( yaaay puppy socialization! )

Got Nails Trimmed Without Batting An Eye

Visited Local Starbucks And Did AMAZING down-stay!!! (First "no pets allowed" store exposure.)

AKC STAR Puppy Material! ( Need class and testing eval, but he already does behaviors)



Chakotay will be 10 weeks old this coming Sunday, April 17th.

Past week has been crazy. Computer problems. Desktop formatted ( finally! ugh ) and Win7 Pro installed. Been fighting with plethora of updates and reinstalling all of my programs and sorting through files. Stuff with Journey's medical diagnostic still sinking in. Tried to do some shopping runs without him. So insanely exhausted afterwards I could hardly move and hurt worse than normal. Him pulling the cart helps so much. Horribly tempted to keep working with him at least until I get approved for a new dog. Maybe doing so infrequently would be okay, on days I really need it.

Like tomorrow. I had plans to go to the gem and jewelry show. I haven't been in over 10yrs (since we weren't living here), and so I made plans before learning about Journey, to go. My mom and aunt gave me a little spending money and Mike is giving me a little also, so I can pick up some much needed supplies at far cheaper prices than I would pay anywhere else. I was hoping someone would come along with me, but everyone has to work or is otherwise indisposed. I know my limits, and I know I couldn't walk around the crowded convention center alone for that long, without risk of triggering a neurocardio attack.

So Journey is going with me tomorrow. He's been off duty for a week and can't understand why I keep going places without him. It's normally better to ease them into retirement anyway, like I did with Ember. As long as I don't do any full heavy weight bearing things with him ( which I never, ever have ) then it should be safe for us both on a limited basis. Fingers crossed I hear back on these applications soon.

Anything special anyone wants me to look for at the gem and jewelry show? Any specific gems, stones or colors or materials you'd like to see me work with?

Decided to go to the airport today to reintroduce Journey to the scents and the hustle and bustle so we're ready for our flight out on Wednesday. They had a live band playing New Orleans style music, which was awesome. While we sat there, several people stopped to say hello and thought Journey was awesome. One of them said her neighbor works for the sheriff's office and trains their cadaver dogs, which I thought was really neat. Later an officer wandered over and I grinned when I saw K-9 on his uniform and he complimented on Journey and we started chatting about Shepherds and Malinois and other dog training geekery, which is awesome because there aren't as many really dog geek people down here as there were in Minnesota! Turns out he's the K-9 Commander for the JPSD. I had to try really hard not to die from uber respect happy and ask him a ton of questions.

Many people know that tactical and law enforcement K-9 training has always been a huge interest to me since I was a kid and grew up watching Rin Tin Tin, and movies like K-9 with James Belushi and Turner & Hooch with Tom Hanks. Back in elementary school the D.A.R.E officer I was friends with even got one of the local department's K-9 units to come to my house and do a demo with his dog partner, which is one of the huge things that inspired me to work with and train animals ( and why I trained my amazing childhood dog Norton with German commands! ). For a long time I have wanted to get involved in that area of professional training, but things got mixed up and dreams put on hold when Katrina turned everything upside down and in the years that followed things were so rough I never had the opportunity to pursue it further.

I almost didn't go today and decided at the last minute to swing by the airport while waiting for my prescriptions. So that inner voice and gut feeling kicked in, telling me it was meant to be that I met this awesome gentleman today and got to share stories and dog training humor. Funnier, he made a comment about almost getting the cadaver dog job and it just wasn't his thing, and I laughed and told him about the lady who said her neighbor was that trainer, and he laughed too and said it had to be the same person because she was the only one in the area. Small world. Huzzah for meeting awesome people!

Today I made some new friends. A couple came by to pick up the reptile tanks I was selling, and it turns out they are reptile geeks, and not only is she a dog training geek, she has a service dog too, and knows another person in New Orleans who has one. Funny enough we're all members of a SD community on FB and never realized it. Yaaaaay I don't feel so alone anymore and have new local friends to relate to!

While at a local Petco today with Journey, standing near the checkout I overhear a man registering his puppy for classes. He asks the trainer "how much does it cost to make them a service dog?" nodding toward me and Journey. A few minutes before I had been chatting with the trainer since we have been going by there since Journey was a small pup and he was wondering how his training was going. The trainer awkwardly tries to explain to the man what classes they do offer, but not answering the question directly and seemed like he was in a bind. The guy started to try and question it, so I spoke up.

"You can't just make any dog a service dog. The dog has to be specially trained to help with a disability. You have to have a disability".

The trainer agreed and mentioned a few examples like a mobility issue or diabetes, etc. The man stared at me and Journey for a long moment.

Then his dog is brought out of the back from grooming. A young German Shepherd pup, probably 4 months or so old if even. Beautiful little dog, but a spazz with no leash manners. I just shook my head and sighed.

You can't just call any dog a service dog just because you want to ( whatever excuse you decide to use to try and "justify" it ). You can't just slap a vest on any dog ( GSD or not ) and claim it is a service dog. It's a punishable crime / fraud to do so. You will be fined and face jail time.

On top of that, plenty of people who do have health issues and have legitimate disabilities, do have dogs. But that does NOT make that dog a service dog by default. Thankfully most of those people don't try and falsely claim their pet dogs are service dogs.

Those people who do use real service dogs don't go around cheerfully claiming they have or need a service dog like it is a god damned status quo or "cool thing" just because they want attention. In fact, most of us would rather not be swarmed with the attention we get when we go anywhere with our partners.

It doesn't matter if the dog is well behaved ( or what you interpret as "well behaved" ) at home or in public. If the dog isn't specially task trained to assist the person handling it with mitigating ( mitigate - v ; to make less severe, serious, or painful) their disability, it is NOT a service dog. Period.

Took Journey to Lakeside Mall today for some public access training. He did amazingly well as always.

We practiced in the elevator and on the stairs for as long as my body would allow. Then he helped me hobble to get a bite to eat and sit for a bit to rest and take meds. While getting condiments, I dropped a straw. One of the workers saw and told me not to worry, she'd get it after. I asked Journey to get it. He sniffed and mouthed at it which I marked and encouraged, he pawed at it, and he flopped beside it and mouthed it more and almost picked it up, but decided it wasn't as exciting as a toy and flopped beside it and put he paw atop it. Some girls were sitting nearby watching and cheering him on for the effort. Better luck next time.

Found a place to sit and eat where he fit without being in the way. Lots of people kept walking by commenting when they saw him. Heard a lot of "wow what a big dog" and "man look at the size of him!" which made me giggle.

One nice gentleman and his son stopped to chat. He was interested about service dogs because he's dealing with spinal damage from when he was injured in a motorcycle accident. I could tell just by how he moved he had a hard time and it hurt him, and he like me just keeps pushing through the day as best he can. I empathize.

Another couple stopped with their son who they explained had brain conditions that caused seizures, some form of epilepsy I believe. He had been curious about seeing Journey and wanted to pet him, which I was okay with because I know how much it helps kids like him. Bright and happy kid who loved to talk. Trying to pay attention to him and the parents at the same time was challenging!

I told both families like I tell others I have met, I'm happy to help however I can. I gave both families a card and contact info. I've shared numerous resources with people I have met since I first started working with Ember years ago, and hope I can continue to do so for years to come with her and Journey to help spread awareness. I know how much it can help to simply be pointed in the right direction, and have someone you can talk to who can relate on that same level.


Journey got really pushy and nudging after they left. I was feeling a little wonky and hadn't taken my meds yet because I stopped in the middle of eating to talk with the people. I think he might be starting to tell me that he senses something isn't quite right. At first I thought he needed to do his business, but when I took him out to a spot he circled, then sat and looked at me to indicate he didn't have to. I took him out twice just to make sure and he didn't have to go.

After I took my meds and they kicked in he wasn't as buggy and pushy and just acted silly a few times to make me laugh instead. Hoping over time I can shape both behaviors differently like I did with Ember. I don't think he's experienced enough yet to give a reliable alert like Ember does, but I think he is learning from watching how she responds to me and by being around me when the changes happen, whatever it is that the dogs sense.

We'll probably be spending quite a bit more time there as we get ready for our upcoming trip.

Journey and Ember napping.


With all the bad stuff that happened last month, haven't had a chance to really sit and recap on Journey's progress during the month of May until now. He made 5 months old May 4th. He'll be 6 months old tomorrow.

This one will be a little short, as I am going to do a more detailed update within the next week or two for the 6th month old mark.

In May Journey went to a dog park for the first time and did amazingly well. His leash-less long distance recall was flawless ( which makes me SO HAPPY I cannot describe the happy ) coming back to me every time I called him back, even when there were more interesting things ( running dogs, running kids, and even a mild scuffle that broke out when some dogs got to rough across the park).

We also took an intermediate education class, which he passed and graduated from in the middle of the month.

Journey has also shed all of his puppy teeth! They started appearing and I started collecting them. I'll have to do a count to see how many I have, but I did manage to get both eye teeth! Puppy teeeeeeeef arremmmgawds. I may have missed a few, but I got most of them.

He worked on down / stays and sit /stays with distance and duration and before I had totally proofed it, I had to run out of the room in a rush at one point and gave him a down /stay command and figured he'd be following right after me as soon as I left the room and was gone for more than a minute. BUT HE STAYED!!! Oh my gods when I went back in he was laying there waiting and he got soooooooo much praise I think he exploded.

Those are the main highlights I can think of. Will discuss more in the next update.