Went to see another potential foster this evening. Was expecting a 90lb+ dog and the pics even looked it. The dog had lost a lot of weight while in shelter they claimed from depression or whatever. He was a little taller than Ember, and I could imagine if he did put on 20lbs he might be okay for the work. He was perfect with other dogs, cats, kids, living with them all at the foster house. He seemed fine, just lacking in some leash manners but not horrible. So I said I would give him a shot. Stopped by their local Petco for supplies. While fitting a step in harness to this dog, he became reactive. I think it was the way I was touching him or the place around the hind legs and groin area trying to repositioning his body and legs so I could get a better angle to slip on the harness and adjust it. He was stressing some while in the store, but still took treats. He had tensed up and I heard a low growl, so I stopped and watched him. There were people across from us making a bit of noise and they had a dog trying to get closer, so I thought it may have been the other dog I heard. I started to reach back for the hind end to loop the harness through and he tensed again and turned his head slightly so I stopped again until he relaxed and was slack jaw. Instead of leaning in to loop the harness as I had originally planned to ( which would have put my head/face right in line if he swung around on me ), I angled one arm low and came around with the other to feel at his leg and hip, wondering if he was in pain. I moved his leg slightly with my hand and there was a throaty snarl and he was turning to latch for my arm. I managed to block him with the arm I had angled against his chest for safety and held the collar so he couldn't jerk away and try again. When he realized he was partly restrained he outburst with a lot of snarling and a warning bark that had some people coming over to see if everything was okay. Which was pretty embarrassing because I looked like some idiot who couldn't control their dog. That kind of reaction to such simple handling is a serious red flag, and probably part of the reason he ended up in the shelter to begin with. I couldn't risk it. I brought him back to the foster. Goodness forbid if someone else starts to take him home like I did, and is not as dog savvy, and ends up getting nailed by him. I told them what he had done and why I had to bring him back, but I don't think they took it seriously. He was the last dog on my list in the area to check. Another 15 dogs down. All I keep getting around here is heartworm positive and severe behavior issues dogs. That disqualifies them as service dogs flat out. I can't afford to put money out to try another puppy. Going to curl up and cry away my frustrations.

Spent the last few days fighting with my computer again. Just when I was getting everything back in order from the hard drive crash where I lost data and art and things, Windows decides to self destruct itself so badly that it screwed up my boot sector. I couldn't even access recovery mode or anything similar, nor could I rebuild the boot and registry data.

So all the programs that I had installed on my second drive in case something like this happened.... nope, won't work now. I have to do everything all over again. I only lost a handful of things I had saved to my desktop. I got into the habit of moving everything over to my non-OS drives. I don't think I lost anything important except for video edits, or I just haven't realized anything else is missing yet.

Unfortunately this reinstall is glitching out on updates and hanging. Which means I have to reinstall AGAIN. I haven't bothered to reinstall any of my programs except Photoshop and stuff I need specifically to get ready for the trip. Which is aggravating because I can't use my other editing programs or Painter as I had planned. I will get this stuff edited and posted, once my computer stops sabotaging my progress. When I get back from the trip to OKC I am going to wipe it clean and install, make sure everything is stable, reinstall all my drivers and programs, and ghost the damned drive and make backup points. I should have this last time around. Live and learn.

Quick update. Ankle is still tender but as long as I am not on it too long I can tolerate the pain enough to walk on it for short amounts of time and for short distances. Puppy is doing good, will write more about that in a puppy update I am working on.


Getting increasingly aggravated with the SSA and this disability determination process. They sent me ANOTHER letter requesting info I already gave them. This is the third time they have done so.

I filled out the application online and it specifically asked for this info and I filled in the blanks. Then I also submitted it with the info I gave them to copy in person. All of that info was carefully organized and selected because they had already asked for it, or I knew they would ask for it, so I included it thinking it would help them and make the process more efficient.

So how can you not have it and still be requesting it unless clearly you haven't bothered to actually look through my entire file?

Or you are just wasting time, resources and paper.

The fact that one of my conditions is actually listed on the SSA "auto determination list" should make this entire process totally irrelevant. But noooope.

Because, government.

Nothing like going to the dentist for fillings and to discuss increase in TMJ issues and such, to basically be told you'll need to pay around $12,000+ to get it all fixed in a way that won't fail like all other methods have for you for years. I need implants. Anything else will just fall apart and be a waste of money. The longer I wait, the worse my jaw bones and connective tissue gets, to where it will be bone grinding bone. Even now I am having a hard time eating/chewing and talking, and my jaw has started locking/dislocating. If I don't get it done soon, I'll likely be needing corrective jaw bone surgery in the next few years. I really don't know what I'm going to do. I can't even bring myself to smile anymore. Sometimes I just feel like giving up because things just get more and more broken and there is nothing I can do about it.

Really not liking the new Budweiser commercial with the puppy and Clydesdale made for the Super Bowl this year. The original commercial of the series was nice and uplifting. This one is just poor taste. It once again makes wolves and coyotes out to be the stereotypical "bad guys". Not cool at all.

While at a local Petco today with Journey, standing near the checkout I overhear a man registering his puppy for classes. He asks the trainer "how much does it cost to make them a service dog?" nodding toward me and Journey. A few minutes before I had been chatting with the trainer since we have been going by there since Journey was a small pup and he was wondering how his training was going. The trainer awkwardly tries to explain to the man what classes they do offer, but not answering the question directly and seemed like he was in a bind. The guy started to try and question it, so I spoke up.

"You can't just make any dog a service dog. The dog has to be specially trained to help with a disability. You have to have a disability".

The trainer agreed and mentioned a few examples like a mobility issue or diabetes, etc. The man stared at me and Journey for a long moment.

Then his dog is brought out of the back from grooming. A young German Shepherd pup, probably 4 months or so old if even. Beautiful little dog, but a spazz with no leash manners. I just shook my head and sighed.

You can't just call any dog a service dog just because you want to ( whatever excuse you decide to use to try and "justify" it ). You can't just slap a vest on any dog ( GSD or not ) and claim it is a service dog. It's a punishable crime / fraud to do so. You will be fined and face jail time.

On top of that, plenty of people who do have health issues and have legitimate disabilities, do have dogs. But that does NOT make that dog a service dog by default. Thankfully most of those people don't try and falsely claim their pet dogs are service dogs.

Those people who do use real service dogs don't go around cheerfully claiming they have or need a service dog like it is a god damned status quo or "cool thing" just because they want attention. In fact, most of us would rather not be swarmed with the attention we get when we go anywhere with our partners.

It doesn't matter if the dog is well behaved ( or what you interpret as "well behaved" ) at home or in public. If the dog isn't specially task trained to assist the person handling it with mitigating ( mitigate - v ; to make less severe, serious, or painful) their disability, it is NOT a service dog. Period.